The exterior of the cave of the Three-Eyed Raven is constructed in a quarry near Ballymena, Northern Ireland—an almost perfect bowl-shaped hollow now filled with scenery, tents, and cabins. The cave’s interior and its various tunnels have been constructed at the studio in Banbridge, and it’s there where we’ll spend the majority of our time. The walls have been covered in moss and the floor strewn with real animal bones. On our first day, we’re also joined by the 85-year-old actor Max von Sydow who plays the Three-Eyed Raven—one of the old guard of actors I love to watch so much. Physically, Max seems more frail than even Margaret John had been, and I worry about him sat for hours in the cold. But just like Margaret did, he can snap into character like an old pro.
Since I’ve returned to the series, this is the first scene where Hodor has to interact. Meera will talk with him about the food she’s been dreaming of when they reach home. The mention of home and sausages lights up Hodor’s face.
It’s supposed to be a lovely, lighthearted moment before all hell breaks loose and the undead descend on us, but I just can’t relax. In fact, I feel suffocated by the enormity of everything that’s expected of me. Jesus fucking Christ, Kristian. You need to be on your A game, I tell myself, but I’m agitated, so much so that Jack notices I’m struggling.
“Are you OK?” he asks after a few takes, which I’ve barely managed to get through. “Are you having difficulty?”
“Yes, it’s awful,” the words tumble from me. Hodor’s subtle tics used to come easily to me, but now I’m tying myself in knots trying to express them. I explain to Jack the mad journey I’ve been on for the past year, and the personal journey I’ve been on, too. I’m finding stepping back into inhabiting someone other than myself very hard. Then I stop. Did I just say all of that … to a director I don’t know? I think. Years ago, I would have kept silent, like when my back was breaking in the Great Hall. I stop talking and watch Jack’s eyes carefully. Is he going to understand? Help me work this out? Or dismiss me and move on?
“OK, just take it easy,” he smiles.
“I’ll be fine, but everyone might need to be a bit patient,” I say quickly. Jack gives me a shoulder squeeze.
“Just relax. It will all come flooding back,” he reassures me.
Jack is right, just like John Ruskin had been years ago. And after a while, I do start to remember: Do not overthink Hodor; do not overthink your performance. As the morning wears on, Hodor reappears like an old friend.
[My stunt double] Brian is also worth his weight in gold. As soon as the magical shield keeping us safe in the cave vanishes and the wights and White Walkers come for Bran, we need to hotfoot it out. This means take after take of me pulling Isaac on the sled, which is attached on runners to the tunnel floor. Thankfully, Brian will take the reins on many of these shots—the shots where my face is not in view. My back hasn’t yet completely recovered, and this also gives me the chance to concentrate on what’s ahead. Besides, Isaac has gotten even heavier in the intervening years.