Men and women face many of the same challenges when managing money and personal finances. We all have to figure out how to avoid credit card debt, build emergency savings, and invest for retirement. But there are a few key differences that cause men and women to feel financial stress — and it’s not just the gender pay gap.
A new survey from Laurel Road (part of KeyBank) found a few interesting insights about men and women’s biggest sources of stress in their everyday lives. Let’s take a closer look at what’s bothering men and women the most about money and life.
1. Personal finances (60% of men, 65% of women)
The Laurel Road Annual Survey of Women’s Personal Finances found that personal finances (such as managing daily expenses or working toward long-term goals) is the No. 1 source of stress for all people (62% of respondents). But there’s a slight gender gap here, too. Women were more likely than men to say that personal finances are their biggest source of stress: 65% of women felt this way, vs. 60% of men.
When you consider some of the extra financial challenges that women face, it’s no wonder that more women might feel stressed by their personal finances. Women have 17% lower pay and 68% less wealth than men, on average. No matter how clever you are at budgeting, it’s harder to start with a smaller paycheck.
2. Managing health (52% of men, 49% of women)
The second-biggest source of stress identified by the Laurel Road survey was “managing my health,” mentioned by 50% of respondents. Men were slightly more likely to say that health-related concerns are a source of stress for them.
There’s an old saying that “health is wealth.” Making time to go to the gym, working with a personal trainer or fitness coach, seeing a therapist, joining an exercise class, going for a bike ride, or even just going for a daily walk outdoors can be a priceless investment in your long-term health and well-being.
3. Taking care of family (44% of men, 41% of women)
The third-largest stress factor from the Laurel Road survey, mentioned by 42% of respondents, was “taking care of my family.” Men were slightly more likely than women to mention this stressor — 44% of men vs. 41% of women.
Some people feel big financial pressure to earn a high income and be the breadwinner for their families. But taking care of a family doesn’t always involve money. The everyday stresses of taking kids to soccer practice and getting dinner on the table can build up over time. People who are not parents can also have family stress, for example, if you’re caring for a loved one who is having a health problem, or helping care for aging parents.
There’s no single right answer for how to balance your family’s needs and your needs as an individual. Being a caregiver can be hard, sad, and exhausting, even when you’re glad to do it. But try to keep investing in your own health and wellness (and your own retirement accounts) along the way, so you can stay strong and energetic for the people in your life. Just like the airline safety instructions: “Put your own oxygen mask on first, before helping others.”
4. Chores, errands, and household tasks (30% of men, 42% of women)
The fourth-biggest source of stress in the Laurel Road survey also had one of the biggest gender differences: 36% of respondents said that “chores, errands, and other household responsibilities” were a source of everyday stress — but only 30% of men felt this way, and 42% of women did. This is a sign that women are still doing more of the everyday housework within their homes and domestic relationships.
“Time is money,” and if you’re spending extra time doing chores that your kids or life partner aren’t doing, that makes it harder to earn more money! Fixing the household chore gap could also help solve the gender pay gap.
5. Jobs and careers (40% of men, 27% of women)
The No. 5 stressor on the Laurel Road survey, mentioned by 34% of respondents, was “my job/career.” But this one had the biggest gender gap of all: 40% of men said their job/career was a source of stress, compared to only 27% of women.
But this survey data doesn’t mean that women don’t care about their careers as much as men. A recent McKinsey report found that women are more ambitious than ever: As of 2023, 80% of women want to earn promotions to the next level of their careers, compared to 70% in 2019. These numbers are even larger for young women and women of color.
Bottom line
The gender gaps in who’s feeling the most stressed about chores vs. who’s feeling the most stressed about their jobs could be kind of a holdover from traditional attitudes about gender roles. If you’re part of a traditional man-and-woman married couple where the man has a much higher salary, it might make economic sense for the man to work longer hours while the woman handles more of the chores.
But not everyone needs (or wants) to live like a 1950s sitcom template of a sole breadwinner husband with a stay-at-home wife. (And even in the 1950s, more than 33% of women worked outside the home.) The future of work and home is becoming more complex and varied, with (hopefully) better opportunities for women and men to get more of what they need from their lives. This could be good news for us all.
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